Negative Self perception

“I’m sooo stupid, why did I say that ?”. ” They must be thinking I’m a complete idiot. How could I be so stupid ? What’s wrong with me ? ”

Is she looking at me ?, yes ?.. no ?, fuck ! no, of course not !, she’s waaaay too good for me… ” but it does seem like she wants me to go and talk to her, and I wan to go and talk to her more than anything I have ever wanted in my life ! I want it sooo bad ! it’s just a simple question, a conversation and then maybe, a proposition. …and I can’t !

can’t be doing this, this is too much responsibility, I’m going to let everybody down”, “please please please, don’t let me fuck this up again, not again!”, I’m not even going to try, I could never compete with her !” And on it goes … the inner voice that robs us of our true worth every day of our lives.

I once heard a saying that one of the most important determining factors for happiness in life can simply be stated as “what we say to our-selves, about our-selves, when we are by our-self”. Or in another way, how do we express our opinion of ourselves within the privacy of our own thoughts. For most of us we simply deal with the chatter, accepting the noise of our own self dis-respect as one of the challenges of life, and hope that one day it will eventually go away, or we might win big in life so that it no longer matters.